Fashion and me.

Fashion a word that excites most women and men too. The struggle to be up to date with fashion and put up all ‘professional’ pictures has taken over the world of blogging by storm.

Fashion according to me is personalized feature. What you want to wear and how you want to wear is upto you. Yes you may offend a whole number of ‘fashionistas’ but then ultimately if you are comfortable in what you are wearing and basically comfortable in your skin that makes fashion for you.

Am not a Fashionista or anybody significant for that matter. I used to feel fat most of my life and my eyes and heart always envied a lot of hip and beautiful ladies out there wearing all sort of clothes which I would not wear. It was not I could not but just that I was NOT WILLING to even try them out.

All that changed when I got married. My husband was an ever supportive person and helped me lose a few kgs which instantly boosted a bit of my confidence.

Now I am open to trying new, hep clothes too and hope I succeed in future with a load of other new stuff. 

Always a struggle but with a will to try to change.

With love and little bit of sorrow

Always in the dark about new fashion,

NITHYA. 😂

TO BE OR NOT TO BE -Part 4

Part 4 -Trapped
Hurrying to straighten myself i pushed Lisa away and stretched my hands to embrace Vihaan. 
“Mommy were you kissing Lisa aunty just now?”, Vihaan asked with a confused look.
“No baby, dust had gone into Aunty’s eyes i was just blowing it away.”
“Ok mom.”
Patting his head on my shoulder I struggled to calm myself before i lost control. Control was the one stable thing in my ever changing life.
Lisa smiled her Devilish smile and proceeded to sleep peacefully feeling accomplished. 
Landing and check out process went ahead with no drama and we headed towards our pick up.
The pick up was in a van which puzzled me since I had expected a private car for our mission. As it turned out our mission was not as I expected.
The van contained around 10 people all into their own worlds already. Choosing my place carefully I headed to the back of the van , which was as far away from Lisa I could get.
Vihaan tired from travel remained quiet and settled down to sleep on my shoulder as soon as I sat down. 
As the van started , an announcement was made which shocked me.
” Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your new adventure which will change your course of lives not just for the period of time that you are with us but after this too. The FBI sincerely welcomes all its interns for a life changing experience.”
“FBI??? I thought they were sending me for an important mission atleast that’s what I was told… WTH…”
I got up to leave , when I felt a hand on my thighs. That familiar touch and immediate goosebumps on my skin. 
” Hello Rita, how have you been?”
I turned my head to gaze into his beautiful brown eyes and fall head over heels for him again. 
To be continued…..💕

To be or not to be -Part 3

Part 3- Agonising feelings 
“So from when have you been assigned to my case?”
“Oh from when they knew that you were going to be assigned to it!!”, She smirked.
“You requested that you be assigned or …”
“No idea what you are hinting at.”
Rolling my eyes I dragged my tired body and mind to sit in front of departure gate. 
The call for boarding was made on schedule to my relief and we sat down in our alloted seat. To my utter dismay Lisa was right next to me.
She smiled and settled down with a book to read. I chose to ignore her since I didn’t want to irritate myself further than I already was. 
As the plane took off my senses calmed and I closed my eyes for a nap keeping an ear out for Vihaan. Just as I was about to fall asleep I felt a hand on my thighs. Startled I woke up.
When I looked at who it was I was surprised to find Lisa sitting close to me and looking into my eyes with pure lust.
Taken aback with the intensity of the gaze I was confused what reaction to give . My initial response was to ignore her advances but then what I had gone through made me rethink my response.
Do I dare to release my innermost feelings still present for her or do I just show a casual interest and engage in a one night stand? 
Before the mind could decide the body had already started the action. Two full lips clashed together to form an explosion so intense it seemed as if rocking the whole plane.
Suppressed feelings slowly raised it’s head. Hands traced a familiar path they had travelled before. 
Forgetting the present we went to our own planets as we usually do as things started more intense, a pull on my dress was made.
Squatting away the hand I proceeded to ravage her mouth. Again the pull. Annoyed at the disturbance I opened my eyes to Vihaans confused look.

To be continued…..💕

To be or not to be -Part 2

Part 2- Old habits die hard
“Oh crap”, I mumbled.
“What is that my dear?”, Lisa asked.
“Nothing”
“Hi hi , Momma who is this aunty?” , my son asked shaking Lisa’s outstretched hand like a water pump. 
“Vihaan , leave that hand alone or you are going rip it off its socket!!!”, I admonished him with stern eyes.
“Cool!!!”
He sulked and started playing with his tennis ball.
“Hi Lisa, I would love to stay and chat but as you can see I am in bit of a hurry now. See you later.”
I didn’t wait for her answer and dragged Vihaan and my luggage once again to the check in counter. 
Successfully checking in later I breathed out the air that I had been holding onto nervously for so long. Just as I sat down with all my energy drained out I heard a voice once more which made me jump out of my skin.
“You didn’t think you could run away so easily from me , huh?”
With irritated eyes I turned to reply when I saw Lisa AGAIN.
“What the heck is matter with you Lisa? If I told no to you once, can’t you understand it? Which part of NO can you not understand?”
“I didn’t want this too… But unfortunately or fortunately I am ur ‘partner in crime’ for this mission.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Whoever I didn’t want to meet kept coming back to haunting me.
Anger filling my face and eyes I stared at her face. Her face always a sign of calmness and serenity started showing signs of worry and underlying excitement. 
Strangely I was having an excitement too in all my anger. Remembering our past relationship I was getting all riled up. With Vihaans pulling of my skirt I was jolted back into the present.
To be continued…..💕
To be or not to be -Prologue

To be or not to be -Part 1

To be or not to be -Part 1

Part 1 – Who I am and Who will I be?
The journey to the train station was as event less as it could get. Apart from the fact that my son has inherited my boyfriend’s annoying habit of chattering non stop when on travel. 
“Momma look at that building, see see a limo… A cute girl momma !!! ”
I paused my thoughts with the last comment of his and stared at his face with incredulity. 
“What are they teaching you at school young man?” 
“Nothing momma!!”
Again that puppy dog face he perennially uses to calm me down. With a sigh of exasperation I turned my head back to the busy streets.
My eyes though wandering aimlessly on the streets caught sight of a familiar face staring at me as we passed by. My breath caught in my throat as it was HIM. The one guy whom I wanted to avoid meeting before I started on my adventure was standing right in front of me.
A lame effort of hiding behind a very transparent glass was made. My son , an over enthusiast that he was waved at everyone he could lay his eyes on. 
My desperation to get to the airport only got worse and traffic was not being my friend right now. An inch by inch movement made my second more agonising than the previous.
Ions of travel time later we finally reached our destination on time and I ran dragging my luggage and my son when I banged into someone.
Luggage, my son and me fell in different directions. With panic in my eyes, I frantically reached for my son. 
” Well , well if it isn’t the famous criminal Rita” a female voice whispered in my ears.
My panic worsening into a panic attack with the voice I raised my head to look into HERs my ex-girlfriend….
To be continued…..💕

To be or not to be… Prologue

Prologue….
She sat still with the cup of coffee still in the hand. Gaze falling on the droplets of water tracing down its path on the windows of the cafe. 
No stranger to the place, she felt comfortable spending her time there in her favourite spot reminiscing about what happened and what she imagined her life to be. 
A single way ticket to Paris guided her future life. New place, new people and of course a new life. 
The irony of the situation got to her. All that she wanted was constant people and things in life right now, and she was getting just the opposite. 
Scanning the cafe her eyes fell on a yellow envelope stamped with her name. A knowing smile and a note stating a closure.
A small laugh escaped her. Toddler that he was , rushed to her and pulled at her skirt. 
“Momma, can we leave now?”, he enquired with his Irresistible puppy dog eyes.
“Of course my darling”, she smiled and took her belongings with her leaving behind a hefty final tip to the waiter. 
Life was a journey she knew but never had it got as interesting as it had become now….
To be continued…. 💕

Love and reality – short story

The room was exactly as i left it the previous day. Dirty dishes lying around, clothes strewn all over the place and all the books that i had been reading scattered all over the house.

 

I sighed to myself and started tidying up the apartment a bit just so i have space to walk around freely.

 

A new day had begun and it was time for me to do what i came here to do and that was to see ‘Him’.

Time and distance had lost all its meaning in my eagerness to see him everyday. That was all i was living for. 

 

After cleaning the house a bit and freshening myself i went to my wardrobe and selected the best dress that i could find, prettied my face with makeup , blew dry and styled my hair which best suited my face and started out to meet Him in the usual place where i would, everyday.

 

But today i felt something was different. I knew something life altering was going to take place. I didnt know what was going to happen but i was praying that it better be something good.

 

The walk to the coffee shop which i always went to, to have breakfast was always an eventful one. I could see people of all walks of life on my way. 

 

Women hurrying along pulling their kids behind them to drop them by in school on their way to work, husbands grumbling at their wives for something which they did before starting to work, wives throwing daggers with their eyes for something which their husbands did/didnt do. Roadside vendors setting up their store for the day, poor children sitting on the roadside with their family, vehicles hurrying past to go to their destination. 

 

I always wondered how fast the life went for each person . I wished my life went by that fast since all i did everyday was to come sit in the coffee shop and always wait for ‘Him’ to appear in front of my eyes .

 

Today nothing jumped off the page to take into notice any unsual happening but i did notice my vision was getting blurry a bit and i thought to go check my eyesight later in the house. It was probably due to my not so great sleep last night i thought to myself.

 

As i entered the coffee shop, i was greeted with a big smile from everybody who were seated in the shop. Now i generally dont get noticed by anybody anywhere but that today everybody noticed me and gave me either a smile or a wave of hand acknowledging my presence. 

 

Though i felt weird i responded to each person’s greeting and went and sat down in my usual place. I generally brought along my journal where i write down whatever i felt like. Mostly my journal would be filled with doodles which got inspired from seeing something or either poems or short stories which my mind thought up during the time i waited for ‘Him’ to come into the shop.

 

Somedays i used to wonder what was the purpose for me to wait for ‘Him’ since i didnt make an effort to go talk to him or even say a hi. I just kept staring at him without a blink till he had his usual cup of coffee and bread toast and chocolate muffin which he never failed to have.
The wait to see Him was the only thing agonising in my whole day since each second would seem like years and the impatience to set my eyes on the one thing which kept me alive would always get the better of me. As each second passed by,  my doodle would become angry strokes and my story or poem starts getting more intense and deep until He arrives and like the calm after a storm all my muscles, mind and body relaxes.

 

I ordered chocolate muffin and bread toast today just as he would order and sat down to continue the story i was writing about a long lost love till he came to the shop.

 

As i was waiting a small girl ran up to my table and sat down opposite me giving me a big smile. She looked pretty in a pink frock with a nice big matching ribbon on her head.

 

“Hi Priya aunty.”

 

I was dumbstruck because the kid knew my name and i never have uttered even a word to anyone in that coffee shop except probably to the waiters there to place my order.

 

“Uhmmm hi little angel”, i replied with a tentative smile.

 

“Today is a big day for you aunty. You finally get to go home!! Are you excited?”, she said.

 

I was surprised since everyday i did go back home and this child here was telling me something which i already knew.

 

“Well yes darling i do get to go back home everyday.” , i smiled.

 

“No aunty. Today is the day you finally go back to your real family and live your life happily and normally from now on. You should not come back here aunty. Please. Dont come back ever again.”, the little gal exclaimed.

 

Now i was going crazy listening to this child speak such things to me. I was just thinking to tell the kid to go back to her mom when i noticed Him coming through the door out of the corner of my eye.

 

All my attention was whisked back to Him as if i was a magnet drawn to a magnetic surface. He became the center of my attention and universe and everything else in the background started to fade when He was there in front of me. I never understood why i got attracted only to Him and noone else there in the restaurant but then i had lost my interest to investigate the way my heart worked long back.
His face was even more handsome today than all other days. His gentle brown eyes dancing with excitement, his nose sharp and neatly shaped and his soft mouth curved in a crooked happy smile and his steps had a bounce to them today as he approached the counter for giving his order.

 

As i sat there gaping at him as i usually do He suddenly turned his face towards me and gave me a gentle smile. It was as if the heart inside me just melted like ice cream on a slow flame and butterflies started fluttering in my stomach. 

 

I almost ran into his arms and professed my love for him. But no voice came from my mouth.

 

By the time my heart rate slowed down and i came to my senses he had ordered and finished his breakfast in record time and was making his way towards me.

 

My heart literally stopped beating when he stood so close to me. He outstretched his arm as if to caress my face but he kept his hand on my hand which was placed on the desk and said, ” Its time Priya my love to get back to your beautiful family and life. Your time is done here and am now here to say a final goodbye to you. Goodbye my love, take care of yourself.”

 

As he was talking to me, everything started going out of focus and i struggled to clear my sight. All my efforts were in vain.

 

As a battle to clear my vision was raging on, He bent and gave a gentle kiss on my forehead and turned to go.

 

I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. “Ten, nine, eight, seven…” to clear my vision and focus my thoughts in one place. I always counted along with the seconds in my watch in order to focus my mind on things.

 

I passed out while counting and the next time i opened my eyes, i was lying there stretched out on a hospital bed with all sorts of tubes attached to me and a nurse staring with wide eyes at my face.

 

“Uhmmm hi?”, i muttered since my throat was all dried up and the voice came out in a mere whisper.

 

The nurse cried out in happiness and ran out of the door to get the doctor. My mind was all fuzzed out and as i was struggling to clear my mind and understand the state of things and remember what happened i saw a man coming through the door.

 

Tears filled my eyes as i saw HIM running towards me with his hands outstretched and he hugged me as tight as he could constantly muttering, ” My Priya, my darling , my love!!! You made it to me finally!!! You came back!!!”

 

I finally remembered what had happened after he hugged me!! I had met with an accident and had had a serious head injury wherein i had gone into a coma after the surgery had been done and the guy who was hugging me so tight was my husband! 

 

“Yes love am finally back to you and where i belong”, i cried.

 

“I have been waiting so long for you and been visiting you everyday for the past year that you have been in coma and begging and pleading for you to come back to me and not let me live my life alone. Am so happy love that you listened to my voice and found your way back to me again!”, he sobbed.

 

“Seeing you each day was my life line and the longing to speak to you and declare my love for you everyday was the only thing that kept my hopes up of retaining my sanity in the place that i was in.”, Priya cried.

 

“Its ok darling all that is over now. Let us just concentrate in the present and live our lives happily and peacefully from now on.”, he said with tear filled eyes and shaky voice.

 

All that has a beginning has an end they say. But in my case my life had a beginning, almost a full stop which then converted into a comma and now it is just going to be ‘…’.
-Nithya❤️

Rebirth

Crumpled bloody sheet,

Bruised face, body still in the heat.

Lots of people wait to see,

None a wise man, willing to set her free.

A hurt heart and a wounded soul,

Pitiful glances and a blanket rolled.

Justice a far fetched dream,

Months dragged by, all that was heard was her screams.

Belly growing, a petrifying jolt to reality.

Choices to make, over a glass of tea.

Choosing to give life a hard choice,

Her voice shut down, why stop a tiny new noise?

Small feet make way for a new dawn,

A year of new life and here the birthday candles are blown.
-Nithya❤️

Mystery woman

Contemplating the past,

Mysteries were a plenty.

Questions without answers

A small town that she made hers.

Ravenous rage consuming everyone,

Each an actor of their own.

A smile , an embrace,

Exuding charm, buried in secrets.

Inebriated with curiosity,

Setting out to search for the answers.

Staring deep into her eyes I sat,

With a coffee and her painting containing her mysterious eyes.
-Nithya❤️